I hope that your American Thanksgiving will be peaceful, restful, and enjoyable. Somehow, I missed how we suddenly went from August to now December! How did that happen?
For November, we focused on "giving thanks," and supported students and those on the autism spectrum to think about and use the habit of saying "thank you," when you receive something from someone. Please continue this practice, as it will take them further than you may realize, with friends, neighbors, colleagues, and strangers.
We now move our attention to giving and receiving but highlighting the excitement JUST before one opens the gift! So get all of your creative juices flowing on the creation of holiday gifts for others... while focusing on a new foundational objective that is near and dear to my heart.
The foundational objective I would like for you to highlight for your student or child is the anticipation element of giving and receiving gifts. Waiting is one of the hardest skills for children to learn and one of the most exciting when there is a potentially pleasurable outcome! I think about that moment when holding a child's hand and you are looking at one another, about to see what is behind that door or in that box or what will happen when you touch that or jump off that.... that back and forth anticipatory engagement look is precious! And so rarely enjoyed for and with a child with autism.
Across your day, choose moments when you can draw out (highlight) the moment of anticipation. When you are about to open that door, pause and connect with your child or student... gaze to one another to share the anticipation (NOT to have them mechanically request "open, please)....enjoy that moment with your child, even if brief. You can name that feeling if you'd like: "exciting," or "curious," if appropriate to your child's/student's level of communication.
Then when you are creating or choosing gifts for others, wrap them up and when you give them... do the same highlight on that excitement, curiosity, and anticipation of the other person opening the item. When receiving, take just a little longer to enjoy the moment of anticipation instead of tearing into that paper and wrapping.... to enjoy and savor that gorgeous moment of anticipation.
Happy giving. Happy receiving. Happy moments of anticipation.
I love this addition to our thinking about guiding gratitude with people with autism!
THE SOCIAL BENEFITS OF GRATITUDE
By Philip Watkins, 2014
"We believe that it is because grateful recounting trains cognitive habits that in turn enhance happiness."
I personally grew up Catholic and we would say a thankful prayer to start our meals together. I am no longer a practicing Catholic, but find it very centering, calming, and collaborative to still say what we are grateful for to start our meals at home together as a family. It is a common recommendation to families with whom I work, to state 1 thing you are each grateful for today. If a person is not able to verbalize, there are other ways to help them communicate (e.g., visual supports, providing choices/options, and possibly to simply state a moment you observed them in their day being peaceful and seemingly grateful for something).
I am grateful for each of you and your mindful guidance of those with autism.
We are going to continue the theme of giving thanks by focusing our attention on an essential manner of saying "thank you."
When I first started in the field of autism, I was pre-having my own child and very behavioral focused in my approach. I was very structured and no-nonsense. Therefore, when asked if a child should learn to say "please" and "thank you," I would usually say that I did not feel it was of utmost importance due to it being a nice-ity and very social based.
Soon, I had more experience with more children, teens, and young adults... and soon also had my own son. I learned that the students who were taught "please" and "thank you," were often the most integrated into general society. I still felt (and feel) that it was silly to have students try to "fit in" and still feel that it is our job to better understand autism while being more open to the variations of experiencing the world - vs. our changing their responses. However, when it comes to social graces, I have to say I think they are extremely valuable gems that all student with autism and without should be taught. Imagine ANY child who says "thank you" next to a child who simply takes what they want. The child who hesitates a moment to look back toward the person (not insisting on eye contact here), and saying "thank you," is a welcome guest in many situations. That same person may need to take a break or leave a busy or loud situation... and people surrounding him/her will be more accommodating just by nature.
Many of you are probably familiar with Temple Grandin. She is an amazing woman who is a designer of livestock handling facilities and a Professor of Animal Science at Colorado State University. She also has autism. She speaks internationally on both subjects. Temple Grandin states: "When I was a child, I was expected to have good table manners and to say “please” and “thank you.” She advises parents to teach both "please" and "thank you," attributing her learning these to her mother, Eustacia Cutler, who also speaks about her experiences of parenting Temple Grandin.
I am including a very short video clip of how to say "thank you" in American Sign Language. I try to include a visual each time I say or use the wording, to provide full communication to those with autism. You can choose to teach your student to use the American Sign Language sign or a visual phrase of "thank you" written on a piece of paper or another visual provided (e.g., Board Maker or PECs visuals). I like using the sign due to its ease of use in any situation when another type of visual may not be available/handy.
As a reminder, we continue the 2 other very important foundations for social and learning engagement... as these are always going to be two of our foundations for guiding:
1. Connecting at the beginning and at points within your activities. Be sure to remember that your connection with your student is MORE important than ANY task or activity you are doing. If your student cannot connect with you - meaning seeking your guidance, information, and knowledge in small moments of connection, then anything else you do will not be fully heard or integrated into your students' learning. They will either be in independent or compliant mode. Neither allows for you to truly engage and guide attention to new knowledge.
2. Making sequencing known and something to involve your student in understanding. If you are always the one to sequence the day's activities, the steps to accomplish something, etc, when will your student learn to do so themselves? Involve them now, so that they see and understand the importance and the order of things. This is one significant step in being able to tell time, follow a calendar, follow a daily or weekly schedule, or more.
Let me know if you have questions, additions, or thoughts to share...
Welcome to November. I hope you have started it out well and are looking towards a peaceful holiday season. I have to admit that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I enjoy the gathering of family, friends, and loved ones to give gratitude for one another and the bounty we enjoy in our daily lives.
I would like for everyone to support and guide activities that celebrate this idea of giving to others and especially giving thanks this month. Children on the autism spectrum are often mired in things being done TO them and/or FOR them. Let's take some time to show them that they too, have the desire and ability to give to others.
Please continue:
Connection is always first and foremost over any activity or task. If you are not connected, do not proceed. Take a moment (or two or three) to engage and connect with your student so that they can then hear your ideas, thoughts, and teaching.
Sequencingis an essential life skill that helps orient ourselves. Continue providing opportunities throughout your day and activities to support the understanding of the order of things (overall scheduling, recipes, stories, and more).
Ideas for new theme, integrating giving thanks: •Make a card for a neighbor and deliver it
•Make a card or write a note everyday and mail or deliver to different people
•Instead of just making a snack for oneself, make another to share with someone else
•Paint or create art for someone else
•Collect bare branches to create a "tree" to hang notes of thanks indoors
•Write down in the journal everyday: people or things you are thankful for •Sing songs of thankfulness that you make up together
•Target saying "thank you" this month for things that are provided to him/her
Good to see many of you over the last week or so. We had a couple of GREAT team meetings last Friday, including one which fully included our student in the meeting, who demonstrated her usual grace and enjoyment of being surrounded by many of you.
On Friday, I used an analogy of us being guides to move in a direction for and with our students... like a train leaving a station. We can take our time moving, we can support getting on, bringing luggage, ensuring understanding, etc.... but ultimately, the train is (you are) moving in a deliberate direction, a sequence, a schedule for the day which is full of wonderful adventures. You can show your student the way and how to enjoy the view, the stops, the excitement, what there is to learn.
This quote (below) was posted today by an autism group on Facebook and I thought it was perfectly fitting for this analogy:
Bottomline, we are not worried about speed at Synergy. We wish to spotlight the role we have with our students, as guides. We wish to show them they can learn, grow, challenge themselves, and be inspired by the world and by you, their guide. One way we're currently targeting this trust in you as guides is to NOT speed up, hurry up, or rush but to continue to CONNECT FIRST. Then use your schedule for the day (however you offer that visually or verbally) to then move to the first activity. Then continue guiding according to the schedule or sequence of the day or time together, stringing together activities as much as you can, until you or your student indicate needing a break for sensory, exercise, snack, etc. Demonstrate and stay true to the sequence of the day together. For someone struggling with the environment being a bit chaotic or overwhelming, having a trusted person who gently yet confidently guides the way to see the sequence of things, could be such a relief and window in for learning in so many new ways!
So let's capitalize on the sequencing concept this next week and have fun with it!
I'll post more later but think about all the exciting sequences in every day life that we find so essential to our living:
Counting
The Alphabet
Planting seeds to grow
Taking items out to play with or manipulate, then putting them away
Writing our name
Starting a game, playing, then ending the game when someone wins (or there is a resolution)
Story lines!
Getting dressed
Brushing teeth
And so many more!!! Have fun with the theme.... focuses are on:
1. Connect first and whenever needed for regulation and engagement
2. Sequencing through the daily schedule
3. Sequencing in general, in life, in chores, in leisure....
Let me know if you have any questions or concerns~
Barb
I am so happy to report that I have received some great feedback that you do not need me to be changing the theme each week or even every other week! This has been a bit overwhelming for you in trying to keep up... let alone have your student come along with you on the concepts and themes. The last thing I want to be doing is speeding you up. I truly believe in slowing down to make progress more meaningful and long lasting. Hooray!
So, please continue with the Engagement Theme of Connect 1st. This is so incredibly crucial in starting your day AND when you notice a disconnect between you. Learning just simply does not seem to happen if your student's mind is not engaged with you as his or her guide.
Here are a couple-few additional and fun pumpkin/Halloween theme activities and sites with activities that I think would be great opportunities for engaging and connecting with many students with and without autism... just to get your imagination going....
Miscellaneous art projects
http://amomwithalessonplan.com/easy-halloween-decorations/
I will be posting videos specific to students with whom I am working on their own private sites, to make the Fall and Engagement theme come to life even more. However, if you are reading this and are not involved with direct support, do consider contacting me to see if you would like me to review videos and consult with you regarding truly connecting with your child or student with autism.
Welcome to another week of guiding with Synergy. In this theme, we will be focusing on one very important social-engagement technique while having a bit of Fall fun with pumpkins.
The concept I would like for you to pour your attention into this next week is the CONNECT 1ST concept. This concept is crucial for so many reasons with all children but especially those on the autism spectrum.
We are finding repeatedly in the current neuroscience research that sensory information (sight, hearing, touch, etc) are all potentially either coming in at the same time at the same level of intensity and/or they are even fused together (seeing color when hearing something is called Synesthesia, for example) in autism. Imagine, just for a moment, trying to learn a new language in a foreign country to you, when you have all of your senses combined and similar intensity. You are awash with words that are not familiar, colors, tastes, loud-abrupt noises that you were not sure are dangerous or mundane. Trying to figure out "bathroom" or "cup" would be near impossible with the level of multiple inputs coming into your system as your anxiety rises. Someone comes at you yelling, screaming at you to "sit down," so you do. You are scared, feel alone, and your anxiety rises even though you outwardly feel you must remain seated as the person demanded.
However, imagine now, that someone comes out of that fog of sensory over-stimulation, to calmly touch your arm, while smiling and being obviously gentle and kind in their movements, and leads you quietly to the side of a busy street, while holding a visual symbol of something you really wanted/needed in that moment (e.g., "coffee" in my case). That person helps you navigate and learn the word "coffee" just by connecting one on one with you, decreasing the extraneous information's priorities, and guiding your focus to him and the item/activity. Your anxiety eases knowing someone understands you. Your anxiety eases now that you have at least one word solid that you can use. Your confidence rises and your curiosity about this new place returns. However, you do not wish to go back to the middle of that crowd where the people were yelling at you to sit down, even if their intent was to offer you coffee after you sit and comply dutifully. You wish to find out more about that calm, kind, and informative guide who understood you and your need for connection for learning the new language.
Connecting 1st video examples
I am posting 3 different video clips of a father truly connecting first with his son before speaking and before engaging in the next activity. This guide touches, he is quiet, he is calm. He waits for his son to shift his attention to him and their interaction before continuing.
Connecting 1st to start your day or session together
Many of you have instructions to use a full 20 minutes to connect first before you engage in your daily school routine. If you are new on the scene (e.g., walking in to start your school time with a student, coming home after work, or simply after a break), take the time to truly connect with your student or child before anything else happens. This is significantly more important than ANY compliance and/or activity you could start. Without engagement, you have no true guidance. You only have compliance.
This initial connection can be similar to the video but instead of following with starting your schedule immediately or starting your next activity, it means engaging in a simple back and forth "conversation" without words. You might say "hi" and then s/he says "hi." Then you say "nice shirt" and then s/he looks down and touches his/her shirt. Then you point to your shirt and say "mine's green." Then you shift to playing a fist bump back and forth game or passing something back and forth between you or simply sitting and leaning forward then leaning back in a partnership for a few minutes while you smile back and forth. This is true relationship building. This is the basis of guiding successfully. This is trust building.
Connecting 1st within an activity
So this use of "connect 1st" refers to the moments when you can see that your student or child is less engaged with you. Maybe there was something that happened outside that took your student's attention away or maybe the activity is pretty engaging and you both have gotten a little lost in the moment. Consider taking the time to re-engage and not say a word without shifting attention to one another using the above techniques. It will enhance your interactions significantly to take a few moments to ensure engagement by connecting vs. allowing your words and guidance to go wasted because one of you is no longer connected and engaged.
PUMPKIN THEME!
Oh how exciting pumpkins can be for a teacher. There are so many books, messy, sensory, science, and active games associated with pumpkins! Go wild! Have fun! Here are a few ideas:
5 Little Pumpkins song, book, games, and art work
-counting goals, turn taking, reading high frequency words, and more!
Messy pumpkin carving
-problem solve how to do each step from cutting the top to what you will use to scoop the goop!
Pumpkin patch or grocery store
-if you can go to the pumpkin patch (or grocery store), selecting just the right pumpkin then carrying said pumpkin is great for exercise and sensory integration (heavy work!)
The great pumpkin - Charlie Brown
-this is just one book that is a classic you can pick up to bring the theme to life.
Cookie Cutter pumpkins (mallet and cookie cutters)
-Just saw this one... consider using metal or hard cookie cutters placed on the outside of a pumpkin then hammering (or use a mallet) to cut through the pumpkin's skin for that shape. This sure beats using a sharp knife! Let me know if this works!!!
Have fun and do let me know if you have any questions and/or concerns.
The foundational objective I would like for you to highlight for your student or child is the anticipation element of giving and receiving gifts. Waiting is one of the hardest skills for children to learn and one of the most exciting when there is a potentially pleasurable outcome! I think about that moment when holding a child's hand and you are looking at one another, about to see what is behind that door or in that box or what will happen when you touch that or jump off that.... that back and forth anticipatory engagement look is precious! And so rarely enjoyed for and with a child with autism.
