Theme for December: Anticipation

Hello Mindful Synergy Guides!

I hope that your American Thanksgiving will be peaceful, restful, and enjoyable. Somehow, I missed how we suddenly went from August to now December! How did that happen?

For November, we focused on "giving thanks," and supported students and those on the autism spectrum to think about and use the habit of saying "thank you," when you receive something from someone. Please continue this practice, as it will take them further than you may realize, with friends, neighbors, colleagues, and strangers.

We now move our attention to giving and receiving but highlighting the excitement JUST before one opens the gift! So get all of your creative juices flowing on the creation of holiday gifts for others... while focusing on a new foundational objective that is near and dear to my heart.

The foundational objective I would like for you to highlight for your student or child is the anticipation element of giving and receiving gifts. Waiting is one of the hardest skills for children to learn and one of the most exciting when there is a potentially pleasurable outcome! I think about that moment when holding a child's hand and you are looking at one another, about to see what is behind that door or in that box or what will happen when you touch that or jump off that.... that back and forth anticipatory engagement look is precious!  And so rarely enjoyed for and with a child with autism.

Across your day, choose moments when you can draw out (highlight) the moment of anticipation. When you are about to open that door, pause and connect with your child or student... gaze to one another to share the anticipation (NOT to have them mechanically request "open, please)....enjoy that moment with your child, even if brief. You can name that feeling if you'd like: "exciting," or "curious," if appropriate to your child's/student's level of communication.

Then when you are creating or choosing gifts for others, wrap them up and when you give them... do the same highlight on that excitement, curiosity, and anticipation of the other person opening the item. When receiving, take just a little longer to enjoy the moment of anticipation instead of tearing into that paper and wrapping.... to enjoy and savor that gorgeous moment of anticipation.

Happy giving. Happy receiving. Happy moments of anticipation.

Barb

Gratitute can change your life!

I love this addition to our thinking about guiding  gratitude with people with autism!

THE SOCIAL BENEFITS OF GRATITUDE
By Philip Watkins, 2014

"We believe that it is because grateful recounting trains cognitive habits that in turn enhance happiness."

I personally grew up Catholic and we would say a thankful prayer to start our meals together. I am no longer a practicing Catholic, but find it very centering, calming, and collaborative to still say what we are grateful for to start our meals at home together as a family. It is a common recommendation to families with whom I work, to state 1 thing you are each grateful for today. If a person is not able to verbalize, there are other ways to help them communicate (e.g., visual supports, providing choices/options, and possibly to simply state a moment you observed them in their day being peaceful and seemingly grateful for something).

I am grateful for each of you and your mindful guidance of those with autism.

Barb Avila

Giving thanks continued.... November 17-21, 2014

Hello Mindful Synergy Guides!

We are going to continue the theme of giving thanks by focusing our attention on an essential manner of saying "thank you." 

When I first started in the field of autism, I was pre-having my own child and very behavioral focused in my approach. I was very structured and no-nonsense. Therefore, when asked if a child should learn to say "please" and "thank you," I would usually say that I did not feel it was of utmost importance due to it being a nice-ity and very social based.

Soon, I had more experience with more children, teens, and young adults... and soon also had my own son. I learned that the students who were taught "please" and "thank you," were often the most integrated into general society. I still felt (and feel) that it was silly to have students try to "fit in" and still feel that it is our job to better understand autism while being more open to the variations of experiencing the world - vs. our changing their responses. However, when it comes to social graces, I have to say I think they are extremely valuable gems that all student with autism and without should be taught. Imagine ANY child who says "thank you" next to a child who simply takes what they want. The child who hesitates a moment to look back toward the person (not insisting on eye contact here), and saying "thank you," is a welcome guest in many situations. That same person may need to take a break or leave a busy or loud situation... and people surrounding him/her will be more accommodating just by nature.

Many of you are probably familiar with Temple Grandin. She is an amazing woman who is a designer of livestock handling facilities and a Professor of Animal Science at Colorado State University. She also has autism. She speaks internationally on both subjects.  Temple Grandin states: "When I was a child, I was expected to have good table manners and to say “please” and “thank you.” She advises parents to teach both "please" and "thank you," attributing her learning these to her mother, Eustacia Cutler, who also speaks about her experiences of parenting Temple Grandin.


I am including a very short video clip of how to say "thank you" in American Sign Language. I try to include a visual each time I say or use the wording, to provide full communication to those with autism. You can choose to teach your student to use the American Sign Language sign or a visual phrase of "thank you" written on a piece of paper or another visual provided (e.g., Board Maker or PECs visuals). I like using the sign due to its ease of use in any situation when another type of visual may not be available/handy.

As a reminder, we continue the 2 other very important foundations for social and learning engagement... as these are always going to be two of our foundations for guiding:

1.  Connecting at the beginning and at points within your activities. Be sure to remember that your connection with your student is MORE important than ANY task or activity you are doing. If your student cannot connect with you - meaning seeking your guidance, information, and knowledge in small moments of connection, then anything else you do will not be fully heard or integrated into your students' learning. They will either be in independent or compliant mode. Neither allows for you to truly engage and guide attention to new knowledge.

2.   Making sequencing known and something to involve your student in understanding. If you are always the one to sequence the day's activities, the steps to accomplish something, etc, when will your student learn to do so themselves? Involve them now, so that they see and understand the importance and the order of things. This is one significant step in being able to tell time, follow a calendar, follow a daily or weekly schedule, or more.

Let me know if you have questions, additions, or thoughts to share...

Barb

Spirit of Giving Thanks: Theme for November!

Hello Mindful Synergy Guides!

Welcome to November. I hope you have started it out well and are looking towards a peaceful holiday season. I have to admit that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I enjoy the gathering of family, friends, and loved ones to give gratitude for one another and the bounty we enjoy in our daily lives.

I would like for everyone to support and guide activities that celebrate this idea of giving to others and especially giving thanks this month. Children on the autism spectrum are often mired in things being done TO them and/or FOR them. Let's take some time to show them that they too, have the desire and ability to give to others.

Please continue:

Connection is always first and foremost over any activity or task. If you are not connected, do not proceed. Take a moment (or two or three) to engage and connect with your student so that they can then hear your ideas, thoughts, and teaching.

Sequencing is an essential life skill that helps orient ourselves. Continue providing opportunities throughout your day and activities to support the understanding of the order of things (overall scheduling, recipes, stories, and more).

Ideas for new theme, integrating giving thanks:

•Make a card for a neighbor and deliver it
•Make a card or write a note everyday and mail or deliver to different people
•Instead of just making a snack for oneself, make another to share with someone else
•Paint or create art for someone else
•Collect bare branches to create a "tree" to hang notes of thanks indoors
•Write down in the journal everyday: people or things you are thankful for
•Sing songs of thankfulness that you make up together
•Target saying "thank you" this month for things that are provided to him/her

And one of my all time favorites is shown in this picture --->
Are you a Pintrest fan?  Check out some thankful trees http://www.pinterest.com/ListPlanIt/thankful-tree-inspiration/

Another....
http://bluebirdbaby.typepad.com/bluebirdbaby/2010/11/gratitude-tree.html

Anyone want to add ideas? Email them to me or post them here, we would love the collaborative thinking!  And thank you!

Barb